Memoir Writing

Memoir Document  

Sample Highlighted Memoir

Sample Comments (What to look for and how to sample comments)

What to Do	WHAT NOT TO DO
Sensory Description of the event is in the moment, slow motion, detailed... (walking past the window, I see….) Description of people & places are included Description includes emotional experience	Description of the moment is only in simple past tense I walked in the door and was afraid. Description is limited Description can be more visual, sensory
Dialogue, correctly punctuated         “And then I realized (sigh) that he lied to me.”                  “Without the truth... ” my friend, Matt, shook his head, “I don’t think we can save him.”         I cocked my head and realized with horror that I might have to leave HIM for good. “Yeeeesss,” I slowly agreed as if a robot had taken control of my brain.	Incorrectly punctuated dialogue.       I told my friend I would have to leave him. My friend agreed with me. He said, “without the truth, I don’t think we can save him.” I agreed. “Yes”
Lively Language Dialogue w/ dialogue tags “You need to go now!” She screamed at me with desperation, her eyes screaming with rage as she bolted towards me, her legs moving faster than lightening. sensory details - The breath rushed out of me quickly, instantly and I was filled with an unknown coldness . strong verbs: I fell vs. tumbled down the street	Language is excellent in places not in others, needs to be more consistent Language is average, could be more descriptive, Language is weak and vague
Reflection I remember In hindsight Thinking now about the event Reflection is strong because its layered throughout the memoir more than once	Reflection is thoughtful, but only mentioned once at the end Reflection is limited or nonexistent
Editing is strong Grammar is consistent Spelling and sentences are complete The scenes are paragraphed whenever the topic switches, people switch talking, scene or time changes	The paper has many mistakes Grammar is inconsistent (I walked down the street and saw my grandfather. Walking up to him, I said I wanted to go with him.) Spelling errors Sentences have run - ons or are incomplete Little or no paragraphing
Structure is clear and easy to follow	Structure and organization is confusing
I want to read more because I am curious about this event	I want to read more because I don’t know enough or am confused by the information given

Sample Memoirs 

Italian Journey 

The Plane Ride 

A confrontation 

Memoir Rubric  You should have a completed rough draft by Friday 10 / 6 

and a polished final draft by Monday 10 / 9

This week we will begin adding and revising to our memoir.

Monday - Add Dialogue and Explode a moment to your memoir
Tuesday - Add reflection 
Wednesday - check to see if you have enough paragraphing 

Dialogue Quiz 

Words to use instead of said 

Exploding a Moment 

Reflection

Reflection  stu.sandi.net sign in

Rules of Paragraphing 


Today, we will begin writing a final memoir that responds to the following prompt

As we go through life we all have experiences that shape us, teach us, or show us who we are. What has life taught you? How have you learned those lessons? Who has impacted your life the most? These are the moments that become memoirs, the emotions that shape our personalities and the realizations that shape our opinions.

Write about an event in your life that has shaped you as a person, taught you something, or showed you how things really are.

Word Count: 700 - 1000 words  

Begin Writing your 3rd / final memoir. You should have a rough draft by Friday.

Rules for Dialogue

1. Use quotation marks “ ” to show the characters’ own words.
2. Always begin a new paragraph when the speaker changes.
3. Use commas to separate most quotations from the rest of the sentence.
4. The punctuation in dialogue is always inside of the quotation marks.

Tips:
Include: Dialogue with
- Dialogue Tags (description of physical action around the dialogue. Information about speakers actions, facial expressions, movements, feelings or other character's reactions, emotions)

Use Dialogue Tags / Beats to show emotion A beat is a description of a physical action that falls between lines of dialogue. It aids the reader in “seeing” the scene.

"How do you not know this?" I ask.

I look at them like they're stupid. "How do you not know this?"

Facial Expressions: “And a place in Beverly Hills.” She cocks her eyebrow. 

Movement: “Be there or Be-ware!” she said, and slammed the phone down. (243) – Dead End in Norvelt.

Use adverbs   "What do you mean?" I asked warily.
"I mean you're grounded," she said forcefully. It was at this moment when….

Use Contractions: people say “don’t” instead of “do not,” unless emphasizing

“Timmy, don’t touch the skunk, I warned” 

Paraverbal / Using Punctuation (How we say what we say)

Polly Horvath’s One Year in Coal Harbor and notice how she emphasizes certain words to increase the emotion of the dialogue.

“Oh really? Well where does he think I went to cooking school?”

“I don’t think he thinks you did.  I think he thinks you just, you know, picked it up.”

“PICKED IT UP?” Miss Bowzer’s eyes were afire and her neck was getting blotches of red.  Maybe I’d gone too far.

“You know, like, on the street.”

“ON THE STREET? I’ll have him know I went to the Cordon Bleu in Paris for an entire semester!” (42)

Use subtext – explain why the dialogue was memorable or meaningful

In my essay, “Drunk Man,” I recall the time my father offered to buy a local man with a drinking problem a meal. “C’mon, Odie,” he said. “Let’s get you something to eat.”

Odie picked up right away on the thing not said and the judgment it carried. “I don’t need no handout. Let me out of this damn truck.”

Use Elipsis (…) or Dashes (--) to note silence or hesitation

“After what happened… after what I did…” She finds her mouth is dry.  She remembers her soda, takes a swig.

Beware Exclamation Points: Overusing exclamation points becomes annoying

Information Dumps: Keep Dialogue short

Filler Words: like “ah,” “uh,” and “um.” Take up unneeded space.

Paragraph Structure: Give each character in the conversation his own paragraph

Do we make stuff up?

Spoken speech isn’t written speech. Even memoirs require a little shaping when it comes to dialogue. Sometimes we have someone say a line (something we “remember” them saying) even if we’re not sure he or she said it at that exact time. Sometimes we give the line a little something extra by combining things we remember someone saying. Maybe we let a character use a pet name that he or she always had for us. Maybe we make the speech a little less or a little more formal than it might have been. Maybe we take liberties in service of the work a particular scene is trying to do. Maybe we mess things up a bit. Everyday speech usually isn’t without a little mess. We do what we can to convince our readers that our characters said what we say they did even if they really didn’t. Sometimes we rearrange, add, and subtract. We remember that our dialogue has to have the feel of reality, and sometimes to do that, we give ourselves permission to make stuff up—not to the point that we change the essence of who someone was or the experience that we’re recalling. We don’t lie. We shape. There, I’ve said it.

Dialogue Challenge

Room Name: 0453